Dreadful

Today, I went boating with my family and some  friends.  We did all kinds of fun stuff.  Tubing, wake skating, wake boarding.  Ya, know the kind of stuff you do just to prove you are not getting old and show the kids, “Yes, in fact, I am awesome.”    We went yesterday too and when we were done, my hair was a big, big tangled mess.  I am in a growing phase.  Over the past few years, I grow it out and then cut and donate it.  I have done it 3 times.    Today, I thought to myself, “I will not fight that tangled mess again!” and took measures to prevent such an episode.  I placed my hair in a pony tail and braided that into 3 braids.  I then braided those.  Essentially, I made a rope, so when I unbraided all that stuff, I would have manageable hair.  Sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it?  Well, it was NOT.  NOT. AT. ALL.    

I came in and unbraided my hair.  First the big braid and then each of the small braids.  As I unbraided, some inappropriate words flew through my mind.  This was not looking how I had planned.   And when I removed the large hairband from the top, I became clear to me that I had dreads.  They were completely knotted totally out of control dreadlocks.    Incredible. They were sticking out from my head every which way.  I looked like Medusa of the Lake People.  I wept.  Ok, I didn’t, but I wanted to.  I got into the shower with a comb and a bottle of conditioner.  5 minutes in, I pondered consuming a couple of margaritas and going all Britney on myself.   But, I guess vanity and sanity won out.  38 minutes later I emerged from the shower with a pounding headache, an almost empty bottle of conditioner (I spared a bit for my daughter, because she will weep), a hand cramp, a keen understanding of why they call them dreadlocks that could only learned by experience , ALMOST  all of my hair, and a desperate need for Advil.    I also have a need for a few more inches to achieve donation length because after this, I see #4 on the horizon.   The sooner the better!